Ok so im 25 and as long as i can remember i’ve had a lil bump back yonder. But in 2006 it got angry(or inflamed however you want to look at it). it swelled up to the size of a golf ball, and started draining. Yes going to the doctor smelling like the grim reaper and wearing a womans pad in my undies was well, different. the doctor who was extremely irish said it was “a tiddy bit smelly and we might try for a wee surgery back there” he preformed the closed procedure and everything was ok….well except for the flare ups about every 5 months. They would come and go but nothing really bad.
Then about 4 months ago it came back for revenge, being a guy i was stubborn to go tto the doctor even though i knew what was going on and my wife and i are without health care and a single income family. it got worse and the size of a large egg and in an infection fueled daze and 4-6 swigs of burbon i made the really bad decision to try to lance it myself DONT DO THAT!! I couldnt get that much fluid out the small hole i had cut with a x-zacto knife and it hurt worse than ever (DUH) we went to a patient first and the doctor calmly reminded me that normal people dont do these things at at home.
She lanced it and i had to go back every two days for two weeks for them to re pack the wound. Everyone that worked in there knew me by name by the end of it. The cyst is still there and still flares up from time to time(like now). My mom and wife have named it rob zombie because its kinda disturbing lookin but you cant look away. Now when it comes back we just sing the cyst song- momma put my butt in the ground…i cant sit on it anymore…its swellin up and startin to stink.. feels like a cyst knockin at my backdoor…oh oh oh yea theres a cyst knockin at my backdoor. lol